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John Lennon and the Moon: Piss in our time

Sunday, October 11, 2009


Irksome Yoko Ono tweets excitedly that something called The International Lunar Geographic Society (formerly the Lunar Republic Society) has renamed a crater on the Moon in honour of John Lennon on the 69th anniversary of his birth. The John Lennon Peace Crater measures approximately six kilometers in diameter, with a depth of about 990 meters. Get your cunting bunting out.

I'd be impressed except I notice that among the other "select few luminaries" honoured by the Society with a lunar crater handle is Julius Caesar who, if I recall from my readings of Plutarch, murdered one million people and enslaved another one million in his Gallic Wars, in the furtherance of his notice-me political career. Plainly a commitment to peace will not in itself earn you nominal possesssion of a bit of a dead rock in space. Iconic celebrity might.

However, the Society did help to remove a crater designation to accused Nazi war criminal, Dr Hans Eppinger, Jr: whether this cunt killed more people than Caesar I couldn't say, but two millennia separates them. Nothing like a bit of historical distance to launder a name.

So who or what is this International Lunar Geographic Society, that is as celebrity obsessed as OK! magazine? Well, just read part of its Proclamation: "The people of the Lunar Republic do hereby mandate that all beings throughout the Universe do recognize, respect and uphold our sovereign right to self-determination and self-governance as a free and autonomous citizenry."

For $16 you can become "a citizen-partner with the Lunar Republic Society, joining in the groundbreaking international effort to bring about private ownership of property on the Moon, as part of a ten-year, three phase $3.8-billion program to return humans — including professional astronauts, engineers, scientists, and civilians — to Luna....We are on a fast track to return to the Moon by the year 2015." In other words, the Society admits it owns nothing on the Moon to sell. However, for as little as $34.25 per acre, you, too, can "buy" a tract of lunar land near Crater M Jackson.

Just like Yoko's Imagine Peace Tower on Videy Islandm near Reykjavik in Iceland, the International Lunar Geographic Society is another organisation for the nattering-on about fantasy projects. The John Lennon Peace Crater is in good company. It was born on the same day NASA bombed the Moon.

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