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Madame Arcati buys herself a birthday present: Lumley

Friday, May 22, 2009


Yes, a Venus fly trap (Dionaea muscipula). I couldn't resist it. I have called her - her - Lumley. The instructions say I should feed her "minor" insects - so what are "major" insects? Perhaps Lumley can be won round to tofu. We shall see. I will naturally keep you updated on Lumley's progress: she looked rather limp and neglected in the garden centre but revived when I set her pot in a saucer of rain water from the butt. Isn't this a more edifying posting than all those pieces on cock, Lycra, slebs and Jasper Gerard?

Along with Joan Collins', my birthday is tomorrow, May 23. Any advice on nurturing Lumley into an atheist-eating triffid will count as a prez.

Lumley aside, I asked Mr Styx a question. You can ask him one too. Click here

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