Dear Madame Arcati
Alas my attempts - with your help - to give the queens of Russia a jokey anthem in time for the Eurovision Song Contest have failed. In the event not one of the Russians who contacted me dared set those lyrics to music, not even for a laugh. In the light of current events one can see why and the lyrics remain as relevant as ever.
With best wishes, Duncan Fallowell
Dear Duncan
This is sad news to be sure. With Putin (or the Puta as I prefer to call him) around, is it any wonder? Consider yourself lucky that he didn't kiss you on the tum or burn your house down. My success in ridding Eurovision of Terry Wogan was some kind of service to humanity. But the installation of Graham Norton was the last straw: plainly the BBC still fails to invest sufficient seriousness in its coverage: we must prepare ourselves for a drone of witticisms as the Gin Sours take effect. The UK/Lloyd-Webber entry is beyond pathetic. Long live Russia!
Love MA x
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