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Duncan Fallowell: Footballers must strip off their Lycra!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


Dear Madame Arcati

I don't want to overplay my welcome on your website but I wonder if, on a quiet day, you might find a space to air this issue - which has been provoked by your recent rugby posts. It's this: I think the time has come to ban the hideous long Lycra underwear increasingly worn by footballers underneath their shorts. These items of dress come way below the level of the shorts and look disgusting. They are fine in athletics where they originated (with Linford Christie) and look appropriate, but if 'the beautiful game' wishes to adopt them I think managers must insist that football shorts are NOT also worn over the top. Since this ugly practice is now spreading from football to rugby, it is time to call a halt and stop the rot.

With best wishes, Duncan Fallowell

Dear Duncan

You are always welcome. I must say that but for your observation I would not have noticed these Lycra corsets that footballers have taken to wearing - perhaps because I very rarely watch the game. I assume they're worn to avoid damage. But I also suspect shyness lies behind this fashion development. Certain types of person have taken to posting "boner" videos on YouTube for aficionados of sporty bouncing bulges: I can well imagine that subjects of this craze - started by the "lunchbox"-obsessed Kelvin MacKenzie when he edited the Sun - despair at the trivialisation of their sporting prowess and, inspired by the Victorian tablecloth, have donned Lycra for its disguising effect. Lycra does at least avoid embarrassments such as this.... MA x

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