I felt a bit ripped off last night.
While 'watching' Bethenny Getting Married? last night (I say 'watching' because it doesn't require much attention to view the TV series - I can often be found doing something else) I was introduced to the term 'push gift.'
While I'd heard of the concept before - and it has been vaguely spoken about once or twice during nights out with friends - it didn't occur to me that this may be a legitimate gifting concept.
Well. As legitimate as Valentine's Day and anniversary presents... not imperative, but overwhelmingly, the giver feel pressure to give. In fact, the push present (or 'baby bauble') is a growing trend in the US and here in Australia. A 2007 survey of over 30,000 respondents by BabyCenter.com found that 38% of new mothers received a push present, and 55% of pregnant mothers wanted one, though fewer thought it was actually expected. About 40% of both groups said the baby itself was already a present and did not wish an additional reward.
In general, it seems that it is the woman who lets her man know about push presents, not the other way around, although there can be peer pressure from friends to buy one on either the man or the woman. See, that kinda annoys me. Shouldn't either party want to want to buy a gift for giving birth. A quick Google search shows there are even push gift ideas for men. Whaaaat?!
And so, reality star Bethenny Frankel receives a gift from her hubby in last night's ep: jewel-encrusted bangles she'd clearly been eyeing for a while. She knew immediately it was her push gift, and hubby Jason went into the store obviously knowing what to request and his reason for giving.
And there I was, on the couch by myself, ogling spoilt Bethenny's gift and feeling like a loser that I had not, er, pushed harder to be given a gift for you know, pushing out a baby. Heck, I needed myriad gifts for delivering multiples - it was hard work delivering good sized twins, dammit!
And then I remembered what I'd asked of my husband during the first flush of married life. I requested an eternity ring for our fifth wedding anniversary, or when we had our first child - whichever came first.
Who knew we'd end up having two babies at once, four years into our marriage?
And who knew I'd be so preoccupied with feeding, sleep patterns, weight loss and gain (mine and theirs), and whether I had time to even look decent in the first year or so that I'd completely forget about that self-imposed pact I'd made with myself and my easygoing husband.
That's not to say I don't feel appreciated or loved or taken care of when it comes to gifting time -right now, my husband is reimbursing me for a watch I wanted for my birthday, one I found and chose and paid for myself, saving him the trouble of choosing. Hey, at least this way I am sure I will like it!
So in the end, would have I liked a diamond-encrusted something as a symbol of his eternal gratitude to my having risked my life and body and health (I am not being dramatic; you give birth to twins - or one baby - and see how easy it is)? Not really... he shows me everyday how committed he is by being an involved father and husband and that (here comes the cliche, but I don't care) is the greatest gift of all.
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