Now that Joanna Lumley has single-handedly all but brought down the government and transmogrified herself into a 21st Century Vera Lynn on behalf of the Gurkhas, she can do me a personal favour. She can get her fucking lah-di-dah cunting voice off AOL: as a cursed subscriber (but not much longer) I have to listen to her silly cunting voice telling me "You've got company" every cunting minute before a crunching sound rattles my ears. The announcement means nothing. It is a lie. It's just there. Whoever thought up this assault on peaceful enjoyment shouldn't just be fired. They should be fed with great force up Donald Rumsfeld's arse, alive. As for you Joanna, only your political canniness saves you from full exposure to my undiluted rage. What a lucky Taurean you are. Cancel the AOL deal now, tell them what I said. Don't do what Tory MP Stephen Crabb has tried to do and ignore me. I, too, am good at manipulating public opinion. So don't try me.
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