Rachel Johnson and Ann Widdecombe's sloping bosom

Ann Widdecombe and Rachel Johnson

Madame Arcati finds herself in a most singular position: two books recently published, both authored by very considerable matriarchs (possibly modelled on myself), include passages on me, yes, Madame Arcati. The other thing they have in common is that as I write I have read neither. Something must be done.

So, next week I shall be reviewing the editor of The Lady Rachel Johnson's  A Diary of The Lady: My First Year as Editor and Molly Parkin's Welcome to Mollywood. I do hope I am not given cause to be offended or otherwise to consult m'learned friends. Though I disdain anger management courses and the like, I really have tried to rein in my natural tendency to volcanic eruption.

That aside, did you see Ann Widdecombe (a Libran) tonight on Strictly Come Dancing? It's not every generation which gets to see a Privy Councillor turned into a TV pasodoble mop, with Bruce Forsyth looking on. I commend her as a living cleaning product to Cillit Bang.

Anyway, my attention is drawn to this snap above, last seen on The Lady website. I am not sure what to make of the diagonal nature of Ann's bosom, though its maker should avoid B&Q.