Every Day I Write the Book

This question comes from the fabulous.......Jennifer Fabulous (wait...was that redundant?) of I Know, Right:

Let's say hypothetically, that I'm going to write a biography about you. Um, what should the title be?

I left this question for last for a couple of reasons. One, is that it was my favorite, and it made me laugh when I read it. Two, is that it's the toughest. It really has me thinking. What would the title of my life be?

For some reason, I always struggle with titles. I often title my posts here after I've already written them (though not this time...in keeping with the music theme of the last few days, I thought I'd go Elvis Costello-inspired). I sometimes find myself staring blankly at the title section, long after hundreds of words have flowed freely from my keyboard. Three years ago, after deciding to start a blog, it took me days to come up with a title...and I really don't like this one all that much...but I digress.

I love the thought of having my biography written. Even though I'm not sure if I can count on anyone other than moms ever buying a copy of it. And judging by the titles I'm coming up with in my head, maybe she'd be better off not knowing about it.

But since I'm settling for nothing short of New York Times Best Seller-worthy, I've got to come up with a title that reels readers in. Seeing as I chose to express myself in a written forum such as a blog, and since that blog is now 365 posts strong with almost all lingerie and tights related material...I guess its safe to say that this is an important subject to me. So I guess it'd also be a big focus on my biography. So now I know where to look for a title....maybe.

So here goes:





Titles that popped in my head while brainstorming, but I quickly dismissed:

1. It's Just Underwear
2. I Wish I Could See The Looks On My Ex-Girlfriends' Faces Now
3. Stocking Briefings

Titles that popped in my head...made me laugh...then I dismissed:

1. Ten Thousand Tights
2. Confessions From the Lingerie Department
3. My Life As a Pin-up Model In a Parallel Universe
4. My Life In Wolford: Semi-True Tales Of a Tights Lover
5. Do These Panties Make Me Look Fat?

Titles that I found both humorous and to my liking...though you may find them to be neither:

1. It's Just Underwear: How 3 Years, 365 Posts, and Hundreds Of Thousands Of Words Proved Otherwise
2. No I Won't Be Needing a Gift Box, Thank You
3. Boxers Or Briefs? ...Neither
4. Where Are My Pants?

What I ultimately decided to go with...although I could easily be swayed:

How I Learned Not To Bend Over While Wearing True Religion Jeans And Other Valuable Life Lessons

I thought this was both funny, on topic, and sort of relevant. Although, I don't have any corresponding story about low-rise jeans getting me into trouble...at least that I know of.

Once again, a million thanks to everyone who sent in a question. They were all great questions, and I had a blast answering them. Feel free to send in more at any time.

I realize I have a gift certificate winner to announce. That will be coming in the next day or two.