Periodically I feel disengaged from the world - it's my Moon in Pisces, alas - so while I await a reconnection with what passes for reality here's a useful device for those with a mind for statistics ... the Sex Counter Cock Ring.
As I'm not even faintly amused by this I shall quote the blurb: "A stretchy, orgasm-enhancing cock ring that actually counts your BPM - otherwise known as Bonks Per Minute! Slide the cock ring over your penis and enjoy a longer, harder erection as well as the fun of knowing how many times you've thrust per session."
Isn't that just something that would have solved a few problems before Christmas? The perfect prez for Uncle Vern who's into trainspotting at Clapham Junction of a Sunday afternoon. In time, purchasers of this counting cock ring will present a certificate to their spawn recording how many thrusts it took for conception. Kids will hold Thrust Parties and compare notes. Who knows: the Guinness Book of Records might even hold a competition - is it still run by right-wing loons?
Perhaps numerology will embrace this new stat and be used for divinatory purposes: the future is there for the transcribing, dearies. To buy this device click here. £9.99, free delivery.
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