What a delightful way to start the year. My exclusive story on Prince Philip and Molly Parkin found its way onto the Telegraph's website and was this morning its most viewed read. At the time of writing, its second most viewed read. The delightful Tim Walker moves the story on a bit: Molly's "strip-lighting" sex toy, as improvised by her lover James Roberston Justice, has become a light bulb: I think it most unlikely that anyone would place a light bulb up her cunt, but I suppose anything's possible. Also, author James Hogg confirms the truth of my report: of course it's true, Molly Parkin told me! I think this is a story waiting to be treated with bigger fanfare, don't you? It's certainly the most interesting of the stories kicking off the New Year, amid the fake predictions, dreary look-backs and -forwards and yawny posturings of the political parties.
(Telegraph ups the ante: When James Robertson Justice told Prince Philip and others of his buggering at Marlborough)
Showing posts with label James Robertson Justice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label James Robertson Justice. Show all posts
Prince Philip censored Molly Parkin sex chapter in James Robertson Justice book
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Isn't it a fright? I learn that a book celebrating the life of the late British comic actor James Robertson Justice was censored by Prince Philip.
James Robertson Justice: What's the Bleeding-Time? was published in paperback last year with a Foreword by the Duke of Edinburgh. But before publication the Prince read the book in manuscript and took exception to graphic sex scenes described in the Hello Molly chapter which chronicles the bawdy, enchanting romance between the actor and the former Sunday Times and Nova fashion editor, novelist, poet and painter (and my gorgeous fiancée) Molly Parkin.
The Prince was so appalled that he threatened to withdraw his Foreword if the chapter wasn't removed - or at least toned down. And so the chapter was laundered by royal command.
Molly tells me: "I was saddened by how much of the fun was excluded about our love affair. All the adventurous sexual stuff, like inserting the bedside strip-lighting in my twatty (a la Fatty Arbuckle). And the easing of a soapy toothbrush up my arsehole. All at his deflowering of me at the age of 22, in the Cadogan Hotel, Belgravia.
"He claimed I needed to familiarise myself, get on friendly terms with every orifice. I trusted everything he said.
"All that juiciness was in the original manuscript. I understand Prince Philip was vehement in his disapproval and had refused the inclusion of his Foreword unless my chapter was toned down (preferably withdrawn).
"So it's a painfully shortened chapter with all the spunk drained out of it. James would not have been pleased!"
This is a pity. I should have thought that such sexual detail would sell more copies than some anodyne words from Prince Philip. News that James Robertson Justice had a highly imaginative libido and a penchant for DIY sex toys makes him sound most fascinating.
Madame Arcati recommends that the book be reissued with the old chapter restored and Prince Philip's Foreword fed into the shredder.
Picture above of Molly Parkin by Tommy Candler
James Robertson Justice as Sir Lancelott Spratt in Doctor in the House (1954)
James Robertson Justice: What's the Bleeding-Time? was published in paperback last year with a Foreword by the Duke of Edinburgh. But before publication the Prince read the book in manuscript and took exception to graphic sex scenes described in the Hello Molly chapter which chronicles the bawdy, enchanting romance between the actor and the former Sunday Times and Nova fashion editor, novelist, poet and painter (and my gorgeous fiancée) Molly Parkin.
The Prince was so appalled that he threatened to withdraw his Foreword if the chapter wasn't removed - or at least toned down. And so the chapter was laundered by royal command.
Molly tells me: "I was saddened by how much of the fun was excluded about our love affair. All the adventurous sexual stuff, like inserting the bedside strip-lighting in my twatty (a la Fatty Arbuckle). And the easing of a soapy toothbrush up my arsehole. All at his deflowering of me at the age of 22, in the Cadogan Hotel, Belgravia.
"He claimed I needed to familiarise myself, get on friendly terms with every orifice. I trusted everything he said.
"All that juiciness was in the original manuscript. I understand Prince Philip was vehement in his disapproval and had refused the inclusion of his Foreword unless my chapter was toned down (preferably withdrawn).
"So it's a painfully shortened chapter with all the spunk drained out of it. James would not have been pleased!"
Madame Arcati recommends that the book be reissued with the old chapter restored and Prince Philip's Foreword fed into the shredder.
Picture above of Molly Parkin by Tommy Candler
James Robertson Justice as Sir Lancelott Spratt in Doctor in the House (1954)
Sophie Parkin: JRJ and Madame Arcati's books for Christmas
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Dear Madame A,
I was reading one of Roger Lewis' pieces in the Spectator online about Betty Box. I am not allowed to read his book Seasonal Suicide Notes as in true Molly fashion mother has already told me that's my Christmas present. He asks if anyone has ever written a biography of actor, James Robertson Justice. Surely he should do that and my mother Molly Parkin could enlighten him with the juicy details of their liaison in the 50's when they met in The Swallow club off Piccadilly when she was a teacher, and he was her svengali.
Just a suggestion.
Sophie Parkin
PS. May we have your suggestions for best books for Christmas presents?
Darling Sophie
How sweet of you. I've actually cancelled Christmas this year for various reasons. But because the mood takes me - two Full Moons in Gemini this month - I shall put together two book gift guides: One for the stocking, one for the cheese grater. Grating a useless book is a marvellous way to relax and the result can be scooped up and sold as hamster litter or set to some made up ecological purpose in a carbon trade off with a fake princess scammer in Burkina Faso.
As to Roger writing the bio of James Robertson Justice, he (Roger) tells me "I have a piece on the glorious James R-J in my forthcoming Growing Up With Comedians book." I should say a book on JRJ came out last year, titled unpromisingly What's the Bleeding Time? (see book cover above) with a foreword by someone called HRH the Duke of Edinburg (sic). If the Duke is reading this perhaps he could confirm he gave an honorary doctorate to the Countess of Shannon, alias the global mystic guru Almine.
Love to one and all, MA xx
Oh, and here's Roger Lewis ...
Dear Madame
A plea. Can we have a change from that (rather old I fear) photo of D Fallowell showing off his assets? It is getting to appear oftener than Andrew Neill and the foreign girl in Private Eye. Everytime I peep at your great website I get my eye knocked out.
Yours,
ROGER
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